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Hallo everyone |
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Over television last weekend, I heard Minister
Mentor Lee Kuan Yew remark 'I used to believe we could learn two languages...I
was wrong'. |
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Minister Mentor Lee's admission did two things to
me: |
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1. It made me feel at peace with myself - I could
tell the world I wasn't such a failure after all. You see, I have been
fumbling my way through my Mother Tongue, Chinese, for as long as I can
remember. And all along I have been thinking I am stupid or slow because I
can't manage two languages. |
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2. It made me respect him more than ever. We all
make mistakes, but if I were in his shoes, I would have found it extremely
difficult to tell everyone in the face I was wrong, but, not Minister Mentor
Lee. It wasn't beneath his stature to admit such things. That's perhaps, one
of the reasons why Singapore has progressed thus far. Singapore does not hide
its cracks. It faces up to them, makes corrections and then moves forward.
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Though I had been scoring F9s for my Mother
Tongue, I did pretty well in English at school so much so I topped my school
in English in the 'O' Levels. I just can't explain this anomaly. How can a
person excel at one language and fail so miserably at another? |
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I thank my lucky stars that when I was at school,
in my time, I did not need to pass Mother Tongue in order to go to the 'A'
Levels. Thousands of Singaporeans who went to school in the 80s and beyond
must have had a hard time grappling with two languages. I do not envy them.
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I admit I have sincerely tried to learn the
language in my adult years. I have bought English-Chinese dictionaries and
Primary One School workbooks - you see, I thought I should start at the bottom
of the ladder again. But, regrettably, I gave up after some months of
slogging. |
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As I grew older and realised that I could read
English newspapers with one eye shut but would hesitate at every line in a
Chinese newspaper, I told myself, I was missing out on my heritage, Chinese
culture, for without a basic understanding of Chinese literary works and
thoughts, I could not develop an appreciation of the culture. |
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So, I set about starting my Mother Tongue learning
programme again. But, I did not get to start at all, for my wife was concerned
that any progress I made in my Mother Tongue would be at the expense of my
English. |
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Yes, she's right. My English will get worse as my
Chinese gets better. And as one who writes for a living, this expense is one
that I can ill-afford. That's why I have abandoned efforts at learning Chinese
before I have even started. |
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I must seem rather selfish for having done so. I
have put the English Language first before my Mother Tongue. But, then,
English is a language I have been excelling in for as long as I can remember.
That's an accomplishment in life and in my life, I must admit, I have had few
accomplishments and many failures. |
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Oops! I just said something nasty about myself in
public. Is it because I have just picked up this new habit from MM Lee? But,
it's alright. I feel good after saying such things. I realise I have to move
on, despite my previous failures. And first things first, I must put aside my
urge to learn my Mother Tongue, pick up the other pieces of my life, and move
forward into 2005. |
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I reckon that's the way we should handle life -
accept our own short-comings and failures, and march forward, instead of
fretting about the past and letting it control us. |
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Have a good week! |
Monday with the Editor: Fumbling through Mother Tongue
